Assertive

         Recently, a fellow AP Englisher (who shall remain nameless) asked me how I talk in discussions. As in, how do I make it known that I want to talk next without cutting someone off. Now, most of you probably know that I like to talk and have no problem voicing my opinion. I usually try to talk when there is a lull in discussion because I hate awkward silences, and I am really sorry if I have ever cut anyone off. But anyway, I cannot honestly say that I have a specific method for leading into my talking. However, for those of you who have trouble asserting themselves in class discussion, I have a few easy tips that I think may come in handy. And as an added bonus I get to compose a blog list.

1. Bring a gavel to class. Any time you wish to speak, bang the gavel on your desk and say "order in the classroom." When everyone stops to stare at you in shock, you can quickly jump in with your point.

2. Start slow clapping. After the previous person finishes speaking, loudly and slowly start clapping so as to prevent others from talking before you.

3. Pretend to choke. This one requires some acting skills because you need to seem convincing. When the rest of the class is watching you in concern, you can make a quick recovery and start talking.

4. Fall out of your desk. Do not do this quietly, but make a big scene out of it. This will divert attention to you and give you the opportunity to make a statement

5. Form an alliance. Join forces with as many people in the classes you can and develop a secret signal. When you wish to speak, perform the secret signal in order to make the other students in your alliance start humming. This will create general confusion and allow you to speak.

6. Hide in the ceiling before class. Kick your way out and cause panic with your entrance. Everyone else will be stunned into silence.

7. Bribery. I do not want to get too specific on this one. I'm just throwing it out there; when in doubt, bribe.