Last Words

In honor of this being the last AP English blog ever, I have decided to close out with the most preferred blog format: a list. But not just ONE list my friends, oh no, I have composed a total of TWO lists for you to peruse.

List 1: Reasons Why I am Sad L

1. We just had our last day of AP English class ever
2. My locker is completely bare
3. I just saw one of those commercials with sad dogs and a Sarah McLachlan song
4. Blogger would not let me log in
5. I will never again be a high schooler
6. There is no possible way for me to fail at this point so that I cannot graduate and therefore must stay at CFHS
7. There are people I may very well never see again
8. I never skipped a day of school to go to a baseball game and be the main attraction of a parade whilst lip-syncing
9. I will have to sleep in a bed roughly a third the size of my one at home for at least four years
10. I am really really really going to miss everyone. Maybe even Gogol. Maybe.

List 2: Reasons Why I am Happy J

1. We are done!!!
2. I am going to college along with over 90 percent of my class which is something that very few people in America can say.
3. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life and that is actually ok.
4. I do not have to take ANY finals.
5. I can come back to CFHS and reflect on inside jokes with Ms. Serensky while her current students look on wistfully, wishing they could so cool as to have inside jokes with her.
6. I will never again complete a Data Sheet
7. These blogs will forever be in cyberspace so I can always look back and see how clever I was in high school.
8. The final installment of the Harry Potter movies comes out this summer and I can finally prove that I am OFFICIALLY THE BIGGEST NERD IN THE WORLD.
9. I will never eat another high school cafeteria meal.
10. “Anything, anything, anything is possible”

Bye...

           Every class has its own personality. The class of 2010 always seemed very cohesive from my perspective. Their personality is probably best described as the smart, athletic older sibling that you can never fully live up to. The role of younger misbehaving child who gets all the attention is filled by the sophomore class. We are the middle child, just trying to achieve adequacy. At least that is how I saw it throughout most of high school. However, that was before I took AP English. I am going to continue my clichéd metaphors theme and compare our time in AP English to classic 80s flick The Breakfast Club. At first, we were an odd collection of self-conscious teenagers without a clue as to what we were supposed to do. We did not have any screaming matches in the library or break out of the classroom to roam the hallways with Ms. Serensky chasing us. Yet, we did take awhile to break down our barriers and learn how to function in the environment that is so different from any other high school class. This happened slowly, but surely, thanks to some heated discussions over a former slave and a foolish boy. By the end, the nerd, jock, princess, and so on, learned to appreciate each other. This metaphor break down when you realize that we are all actually nerd and there is no role in the movie for a “tough love” teacher who inspires us to do our best work. Nevertheless, my point is such: taking AP English gave me a feeling of class unity that I had never experienced before. It is the one class where I felt I could say what I actually thought without fear of judgment. Ms. Serensky never treated us like children but, rather, young adults capable of intelligent thought. I learned so much more than how to write in this class and it will be one of the things I miss most about high school. So, if I had to give our class a personality now, I would say that we are smart, in a subtle way, witty with a fair amount of sarcasm, crazy for taking this class for two years, just the right amount of quirky and dedicated even if you do not realize it at first.

Thanks for two great years my fellow APers and best of luck in the future!

10 Reasons and Counting

10. Free time. Ever feel you have too much of it? Well then you should take AP English and you will cease to have anything resembling a social life as you write more words in the margins than the author wrote in the whole book.

9. Cult membership. By joining AP English, you are immediately inducted into the most elite group of nerds. While you struggle with 20+ page SOAPSTones/Data Sheets, you have an automatic support group of fellow crazy people to feed your insanity and convince you that you must add at least five more pages.

8. Ego. Did you ever think yours is too big? AP English can take care of that too. For all you sophomores who habitually get A++'s, strap in cause it's going to be a bumpy ride. Prepare for C's... Heaven forbid! But never fear, everyone else will be in exactly the same boat as you.

7. Public speaking. Does it make you want to vomit? Well, get used to talking in front of the class. But wait, did I mention that it counts for points??? Like it or not, you will have to address your peers face-to-face at some point in your life (unless we make some major advancements in robotics), so why not learn before you have to do it in a room full of strangers and you end up actually vomiting on them.

6. Learn the importance of a deadline. You can pour your heart and soul into a paper, but you better turn it in to turnitin.com on time. You will go down a letter grade NO MATTER WHAT if you forget. It hurts, but you only need to learn that lesson once.

5. Hard work. So you've had some finals, big deal. No class can really prepare you for the quantity and quality of work Ms. Serensky expects. It may feel overwhelming at times, but they will expect no less from you in college.

4. Bobbie's Blog Banter. In order to make it to this highlight of English, you will have to survive not one, but TWO years of AP English. However, I assure you, it is well worth it. Something about the anonymity of the internet makes fellow classmates say very funny things that they would never dare utter in class. As an added bonus, you may just get to witness Ms. Serensky dancing to an Adam Lambert song.

3. Analysis. Not just books, my friends; you will learn to analyze everything around you whether that be a magazine, movie, or plums.

2. Learning to write. I am sure the underclassmen have heard this reason time and time again. It is absolutely true.

1. In all sincerity, AP English has been the most meaningful class I have taken in all I high school. I learned how to write and speak intelligently, I got to know some of my classmates better than I ever thought possible, and I felt like I had a small, crazy family at school. I would recommend that everyone take this class.
 

Talk to Me

Algernon: "How are you, my dear [friends]? What brings you up to town?" (Wilde 2).

McMurphy: "'I’m in this place because that’s the way I planed it, pure and simple'" (Kesey 74).
Algernon:  "I'm a little anxious about poor [Katie]" (Wilde 18). 
The Voice:  "[she] should be aware of the trials to come" (Currie 3).
McMurphy:  "'Man, you're talking like a fool'" (Kesey 64).

Algernon: "No [...] You are." "You have such an absolutely trivial nature" (Wilde 24, 40).

The Voice: "Pay attention" "[she's] got a decison to make" (Currie 266, 188).
McMurphy: "'Oh, [she's] a thinker all right'" (Kesey 107).
Algernon: "anyone can [test] accuratley— but [she tests] with wonderful expression" (Wilde 1).
The Voice: "there is a correct choice" (Currie 195).
Algernon: "That is a great disappointment" (Wilde 24).
McMurphy: "'Why? [...] Tell me why. [The students] gripe, [they] bitch for weeks on end about how they can't stand this place, can't stand the [work]'" (Kesey 195).

The Voice: "Because [...] it is all infinitely preferable to the one dreadful alternative" (Currie 292).

McMurphy: "'[they] ain't as crazy as all this'" (Kesey 67).

The Voice: "[they] have a better than average chance to succeed at the task for which [they] have been chosen" (Currie 5).

McMurphy: "'Okay— I never thought about that'" (Kesey 106).  Algernon: Well, "I think it has been a great success" (Wilde 30).
The Voice: "we wish you much good luck" (Currie 9).

Everything Matters... Or Does It?

        I have always thought that you could divide the human population into two main groups: those who care too much and those who care too little. I fall into the former, which is unfortunate because I will probably have an ulcer by the time I am thirty. So you could reasonably assume that a book about how literally EVERYTHING matters would only add more stress to my level. Yet, ironically, Ron Currie Jr’s Everything Matters! has helped me see what does not matter. I felt like Currie spoke directly to me when he wrote "This is the key you have learned— to relinquish control.” The source of my stress is that I try to control too much; I try to will everything in my life to be perfect. It never works. Everything may matter, but some things matter more than others. Sometimes I just have to let go and allow the chips to fall where they may. Instead, I obsess over decisions because I do not want to avoid negative consequences at all costs. But, Currie shows time and time again that you can never fully predict the consequence of your actions. Every path will inevitably have some good and some bad at the end, so I just have to decide. However, I realize that trying to let go and accept that you cannot control life is easier said than done. Especially when you consider the high maintenance, over-achiever, control freaks (yet lovable) that make up AP English. A mere fire drill in the middle of an essay can set us over the edge as we knock over freshman to get back to the room with Ms. Serensky shouting, "Run, nerds, run!" Nevertheless, I think everyone (or mostly just me) could benefit from a little perspective and perhaps a redistribution of priorities. If feel like at this point in my life, I can go in any direction I want. I can "pick a self. Any self." When I go off to college I have the opportunity to turn into anyone I want. I could choose to continue to be that self that obsesses over minor details that I have no control over. Or, I could work harder to not work so hard. I used to think that where I chose to go to college was so important. The simple location could determine whether or not I get a good education, enjoy myself, and succeed in life. And the college does matter. But, not as much as what I do when I get there. After reading the book, I truly think that anyone can make themselves happy anywhere, if they try hard enough. Because honestly, “anything, anything, anything is possible.”

The Final Countdown

1. When I finally decided to go to OSU. I think I had subconsciously chosen OSU in the back of my mind months before I sent in my acceptance letter. It just took me a much longer time to actually commit.  “So yes, there is a correct choice,” and I finally realized that the Ohio State University is the correct choice for me (Currie 264).
2. Winning the Angela’s Ashes paper for my character Grandma Sheehan. I cannot even guess how many hours I spent revising and rereading those few pages. But when Ms. Serensky announced my name, I filled with joy and thought to myself “Oh, pleasure, pleasure!” (Wilde 2).
3. Passing the physics exam. I have never felt particularly strong in science, and physics seemed like an entirely different language to me. If I had “weeks, or months, or even years” to study, I may still have not understood angles of reflection (Kesey 158). But, somehow, I managed to pull off a passing score. I still suspect divine intervention. Or a grading mistake.
4. Painting my face. I love art classes even though I have no discernable artistic talent. Even the simplest tasks in painting class, such as making a color wheel, proved difficult. For the final project, we all had to paint a giant portrait of someone’s face. Since “We live, I regret to say, in an age of surfaces,” I decided to paint my own face (Wilde 47). Maybe the painting did not look exactly like me, but I felt really proud of my work and the portrait at least resembled a human.
5. My Capote paper. Near the end of AP English 11, I felt unnerved by the increasingly open-ended topics for Ms. Serensky’s papers. After we watched Capote, we wrote a short paper comparing the movie to the book and I could not decide which source to pull quotes from, among other concerns. I did not feel very confident at all when I turned in the assignment. However, I got the paper back with a sticker and one of my highest rubric scores to date! Getting a good grade always “makes everything you have suffered worthwhile, in retrospect” (Currie 261).
6. Mark Wood. What’s that you say? Who is Mark Wood? If you do not know, then you must have been living under a rock. “He is not one who’s sole aim is enjoyment,” my friend, he has played as the string master for the Trans-Siberia Orchestra and wears possibly the tightest pants ever created (Wilde 23). Freshman year, Mark Wood came with his electric six-stringed violin, “the Viper,” to play with our high school orchestra. We played classical music with a twist, as well as rock. He played with us during the concert and had many enthusiastic solos. He also descended from the ceiling in flames. Ok, that is a lie, but everything else is true. I hope that each and every one of you has an opportunity to meet this man.
7. Understanding French. In French 4 last year, everyone in the high school French program went on a field trip to the art museum. The younger kids would get a tour and presentation in English, while the higher levels had a tour spoken only in French. I, naturally, wanted to go on the English one, but got stuck with the French-only version. The tour guide started talking and I wanted to say, hold it “I told you I’m not up on this talk” (Kesey 69). But as I listened, I started to realize that I could comprehend what she was saying. And the more I listened, the more sense it made!  
8. To Kill a Mocking Bird assignment. For Honors English 10, we had several assignments revolving around Harper Lee’s famous novel. One project allowed us to make a newspaper for the town of Maycomb; one side of the newspaper detailed the town events when the book took place and the other side dealt with present day events. I got really into the assignment and found vintage advertisements and wrote a FDR-style “Fireside Chat” as one of the articles. I felt “a happiness so strong” when Ms. Beach asked to keep it as an example for future classes. (Currie).
9. The first time I made it onto the blog banter. No matter what, you know you want to get on that banter, you want the recognition. “What other reason would we have for submitting ourselves to” the brutal work that goes along with AP English (Kesey 59)? Ms. Serensky first mentioned my blog after I wrote about a dream in which I had a lobotomy, much like McMurphy. I just had to make it to the point where English completely ruled my life and subconscious in order to earn a spot on the banter.  
10. Surviving freshman biology. For those of you who did not have the experience of being in either of my biology classes freshman year, you should feel grateful.  “Where questions of self-sacrifice are concerned,” no one can top what we poor freshman endured (Wilde 44). One of my classmates was unknowingly tied to his chair and fell over when he tried to stand. One of the people who sat near would hum some song from a Disney channel movie every day. THE SAME SONG. Another student tried to leave class thirty minutes early after he fell asleep and thought class had ended when he awoke. But, I survived and even learned a thing or two.

 

Here are some classic quotes about Mark Wood from his official website:

Celine Dion - "It's amazing what he can do with a violin and a bow"

The Professor - WFBG - Altoona, PA - "Not only are his CDs curious listening, they are astounding listening, as Wood breaks acres of new ground . . . I need not say more - listen and discover Mark Wood for yourself . . . [It] is THAT impressive."

CBS News - "You gotta see this guy to believe it!"

http://www.markwoodmusic.com/html/about.html

 

You Used To Love Me Well

              I will readily admit that poetry is not high on the list of things that I love. AP English 12 has helped me come to understand and appreciate the art of poetry, but I do not quite love it yet. However, there was one poem that I think brought me close to loving poetry: “Sestina” by Ciara Shuttleworth. To refresh everyone’s memory’s, the poem used only the six words “You used to love me well” in various arrangements (1-6). Even though the poem only uses six different words, it has so many different meanings. It used to annoy me that one poem could have so many interpretations. The idea of having an infinite number of meanings behind one set of word stresses me out; it makes me feel like “I’ve got no control” (Currie 12). But, Shuttleworth used the possible ambiguity and multiple analyses to enhance her poem. The speaker’s tone could be at times accusatory, ashamed, playful, or regretful, among other possibilities. It all depends upon how you choose to read the poem, how long the pauses last, how forceful the exclamatory syntax is, among other components. Although the speaker seems to start off angry, he/she slowly concedes that they each hold blame in their failed relationship because “People make mistakes” (Currie 39). They both used each other. The speaker seems to reach an acceptance of the situation by the end of the poem, almost as if he/she thinks to him/herself “you have no one to blame but yourself” (Currie 19). However, the realization does not have to result in bitterness. Once again, that decision rests with your interpretation. The way that you choose to interpret the poem really says a lot about you. I choose to think that the speaker moved from anger to acceptance and would soon progress to love again. I guess that makes me somewhat optimistic. Therefore, I liked “Sestina” because it showed me that I can enjoy poetry while also learning something about myself.

Dibben?!

              One fateful day, during the third quarter of AP English 12, Ms. Serensky gave the class an assignment. The task was “‘Very simple, really’” (Kesey  293). Every writing pair had to write a seven to ten line poem that gave insight into the events of the previous night’s reading for Amsterdam. I will admit that I am no gifted poet; however, I luckily had the two editors of Prism to aid me. Unfortunately, Haley, Sarah, and I managed to make this simple task extremely difficult. We first had to pick certain words from our assigned section, prior to knowing they would be used in a poem. We choose such easily applicable words as “urinal” and “dyslexic.” The short section we had to analyze consisted of some rather bizarre and unconnected events: Vernon having an awkward conversation with an employee in the bathroom and a disgruntled dyslexic woman losing her job. Although the task at hand was to give insight, we seemed more determined to make the events less intelligible. I knew that the poem was not exactly prize-winning material, but I could not stop laughing long enough to form a sentence to say that. So naturally, I just tried to convince myself that the poem actually made sense. What can I say, “my powers of self-delusion are sort of epic” (Currie 97). When it came time for our group to read the poem, I figured we might be able to trick the class into thinking the poem made sense if we read it really well. After all, “In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity is the vital thing” (Wilde 44). Sadly, we mustered neither style, nor sincerity for the occasion. Each of us took turns attempting to read our unintelligible poem to the class, but it ended in a fit of laughter. I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks while the rest of the class stared in confusion. It’s like when you try to retell a story that was so funny in the moment, but nobody really gets it a second time around, except it happened on a much larger scale this time. The three of us sat there laughing for the rest of the class period for no apparent reason. A few days later, we got the poem back; Ms. Serensky noted in purple ink, “Kind of confusing.” Honestly, that is an understatement. I located the actual poem and put below for you all to read. When I found it I started laughing again. I do not even know why. I guess that’s why it was my favorite day.

Dibben?!

Vernon!

Don’t approach him at the urinal,

Lest he come a turnin’

You want to write it in your journal

Dibben?

He halfheartedly apologized,

Not wanting to end in a wheelchair. Dibben?!

Vernon was not surprised

When the irresistible Clive phoned.

 But was, when the dyslexic moaned.

The End.

 

The Interrogation

Not-Eric: Colonel Matterson, I presume you know why I am here.

Col: Hello…

Not-Eric: The federal government believes you possess some very important information.

Col: Hello…

Not-Eric: You served in World War Two and subsequent conflicts. “‘Is this factual, so far?’” (Currie 218).

Col: Why, thank you. World War Two is… thank you.

Not-Eric: I’m not following you, but no matter. We are here to discuss another subject entirely. It is rumored that during your time in the army you were involved in a top secret organization that created some sort of pact between Mexico and the United States. Can you recall any of this information? It is a matter of national security.

Col: “‘The flag is… America. America is the… plum’” (Kesey 135).

Not-Eric: The plum? Is that some sort of code? If so, I am not familiar. Please elaborate.

Col: “The peach. The wah-ter-me-lon. America is… the gumdrop” (Kesey 135).

Not-Eric: Is this an evasion tactic? It will not work on me, “‘I live for a living. That’s my job’” and I can spot another liar from a mile away (Currie 217).

Col: “‘The pump-kin seed. America is… the tell-ah-vision’” (Kesey 135).

Not-Eric: I’m warning you Colonel, if you don’t start talking “I’m gonna get real weird with it.” I have methods of making people talk that you do NOT want to experience.

Col: “‘Now… The cross is… Mexico’” (Kesey 135).

Not-Eric: Well, well, you seem to have understood me old man. Tell me more about how Mexico was involved in this scheme.

Col: “‘Mexico is… the wal-nut’” (Kesey 135).

Not-Eric: Hmmm…. The walnut? Does that mean they were the brains of the operation? That must be where the headquarters are located! Now we’re getting somewhere, go on.

Col: “‘Mexico is… wooden’” (Kesey 135).

Not-Eric: Yes, I see what you mean. That will present a problem, but with our firepower I think we can manage. What else can you tell me?

Col: “‘Now… The green sheep is… Canada’” (Kesey 135)

Not-Eric: Canada? They’re involved in this too? I wonder just how deep this whole thing goes… I have to alert my superiors, this whole situation is way bigger than we ever imagined!   

McMurphy and Multiple Choice

            I don’t typically much like this sorta thing. Bunch a “intellectuals,” or whatever they are, sittin’ round talking about who knows what. It’s not really my scene. But I surely do like one thing, and that’s games. “‘I like to gamble. And I like to win’” (73). This here multiple choice game we’re playing today in AP English class is gonna give me the perfect opportunity to win big. Those kids are so cocky; they look at ol’ McMurphy and think that I’ve never had an intelligent thought in my whole life. Boy will I prove ‘em wrong. “‘Oh, I’m a thinker alright’” (107). As I walk into the room, I see all the little desks arranged in nice little groups. How cute. The teacher stuck me in a group cause nobody would take me, their loss. Maybe it’s cause I haven’t bothered to learn anyone’s name yet. A group of boys walks into the room and one of them announces, “The Dream Team is back!” These kinds clearly think they got this thing in the bag. Now my part starts: “Pst kid, c’mere… You so sure you gonna win? Yeah? Well why not make a lil bet of it?” The kid stares at me uncertainly, so I continue, “$50 bucks your group doesn’t win and mine does.” He starts to smirk and I can tell he thought it a sure bet. We shake hands and then he sits down. Getting him to make the bet is the easy part, now I just have to turn these kids against each other. With a little encouragement they’ll be looking like a “‘Bunch of chickens at a peckin’ party’” (57). The group begins to go over answers and it gives me the perfect opportunity to sabotage. I quickly whisper to my group members, “don’t pay no attention to what I’m saying, I’m just gonna try ta throw the other groups off.” I raise my voice and shout, “Naw, I really think number 27 is C, I mean it’s clearly a simerlie. Hey you, don’t you dare put D for number four or you’ll be losing big time.” The kids stare at me in shock as I continue to yell and call people out. Short after, the teacher calls time and you just shoulda seen the looks on their faces. Not a single group has finish fillin’ out their sheets, what a pity. One kid from each group stands up to deliver their incomplete answers. The teacher starts to read through all the answers nice and slow-like, trying to build suspense. She even has a kid keeping score and such. Haha all them kiddies is starting to sweat, but not me, no siree I am cool as a cucumber. I glance at the clock and the day’s just about over. My team’s in the lead and there aint no chance of any team catching up. I lean over to the kid on the Dream Team and say, “Cash’ll do just fine, thank you very much.”

Talking with Nurse Ratched

Nurse Ratched: Katherine Connolly, 18 years of age, appears to be in good health. Miss Connolly… Would you mind telling me again why you are here?

Me: What? Oh, yeah, sure. Well, I basically think I should be locked up.

Nurse Ratched: That is not the type of terminology we prefer to use. Do you mean that you think you are a good candidate for one of our psychiatric wards?

Me: Um… Yep. I’m pretty much nuts.

Nurse Ratched: That has yet to be determined. And we do not call our patients “nuts,” they are simply here because of their “inability to adjust to society” (167).

Me: Oh, I see. As of late I have not been very capable of adjusting to society.

Nurse Ratched: And why is that?

Me: To be honest I do not exactly know why. But I do know when it started.

Nurse Ratched: Oh? When?

Me: My junior year of high school…during AP English 11.

Nurse Ratched: What is that?

Me: An English class designed for the more… let’s just say more motivated students.

Nurse Ratched: And what exactly did this class entail?

Me: Reading and writing and talking. Then reading and writing and talking some more. It just kept going and going and going.

Nurse Ratched: So the class required a lot of work?

Me: A lot of work? A LOT OF WORK??? I ate, slept, and breathed AP English. I had a recurring nightmare in which I had to analyze a sentence that did not have ONE literary device in it. I would fall asleep in my other classes and wake with a start shouting, “It’s a synecdoche!” So yes, it was a lot of work.

Nurse Ratched: Before choosing to take this course were you informed of the many requirements?

Me: I heard it would be difficult, but I never thought it could possibly be as difficult as it turned out. But it wasn’t just the hard work…

Nurse Ratched: What do you mean by that?

Me: I do not know how to explain it. It’s just that the teacher had so many… rules! I had to put heading after heading on every piece of paper, I had to put the essay on TOP of the prompt, I had to pull quotes AND apply literary devices.

Nurse Ratched: Perhaps your teacher had a reason for doing so, after all, “everyone… must follow the rules” (25). Society puts in place certain guidelines in order to maintain a necessary balance and pattern. We must have some rules and you surely will find no lack of them here.

Me: It’s not like I mind rules or I have issues with authority or something. We just had so many rules to keep track of and I did not want to ask for clarification because— because, never mind.

Nurse Ratched: Miss Connolly, I think you were about to say something very important. I know you may feel reticent or self-conscious, but the only way we can make progress is if you are totally and completely honest with me. Now why is it that you did not want to ask for clarification on the rules?

Me: I, uh, well… I was scared!

Nurse Ratched: And what, per say, frightened you?

Me: [long pause] The teacher… Ms. Serensky

Nurse Ratched: What made you so afraid of her?

Me: She said she doesn’t like stupid people and I was afraid she would think I was stupid if I asked any questions or said anything. So I kept my mouth shut.

Nurse Ratched: Is that what led to your breakdown?

Me: Yes, right in the middle of a graded discussion. I just lost it. I started throwing desks and ripping pages out of books. But, I want to get better I really do. Do you think you can help me?

Nurse Ratched: Yes, I believe so. “We have weeks, or months, or even years if need be” (158).

Wish I had a Warning

              I do not envy Junior’s situation whatsoever. He has a very difficult home life and the whole end of the world thing is a major bummer. However, I must admit that I would have appreciated an (almost) all-knowing voice giving me helpful advice as a child. Such a presence could have helped me avoid some of my more embarrassing or trying moments. My own personal narrator would have sounded like this:

            As a child, you will think you know far more than you really do; most, if not all, children think the same way. However, with our help, you may actually have the advantage of more knowledge than the others. First of all, when you reach the age of three years old, you parents will bring another child home. He will cry a lot and sometimes emit displeasing smells. People will come to bring him gifts and have nothing for you. You will experience feelings of jealousy toward the child, but you must resist the temptation to lash out. This will only earn you timeouts in your bedroom. The cuter you act and the more willingly you sit still for photographs, the more likely it is that others will come to bring you presents as well. At the age of seven years, your parents will move your family far from home. You will threaten to run away and claim that you will never feel happy again. Do not worry, this is not true. Ohio may seem strange at first; people will say things like “pop,” instead of “soda.” Yet, you must try to maintain a positive attitude because you will grow to love your new town despite the fact that they have ten months of winter. One day, your father will offer to trim your bangs. He will only have the best intentions at heart; however, you must rebuff his offer at all costs. His in expertise will result in a fourth grade photo that looks as though you went to the salon where Edward Scissorhands works. In the fifth grade, you will discover a beautiful (or so you will think) pair of purple wooden clogs. These are not as fashionable as you think and have the tendency to set off the sound of explosions every time you climb the Intermediate school stairs. Furthermore, as a young child, you will experience the urge to twirl around the house with your eyes closed: beware and make sure to close all basement doors beforehand. Also, make sure to tie your hair back when using the blender, especially if you ever make snicker doodles. The resulting tangle could cause a rather obvious bald spot. But, remember most of all that if you do make mistakes, at the very least have funny stories to tell about them.

  These photos are probably worse than my fourth grade one

The Cuckoo Bird Flew Over... Me?

          Following the end of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, I noticed a reoccurring theme of crazy in my life. I assumed that I was just hyperaware or looking for connections in wake of data sheet mania. However, I continue to find an increasing amount of insanity in my life, despite the fact that we finished the book MONTHS ago. Unfortunately, I have noticed this unsettling pattern in myself. And all of my symptoms have been brought to light due to AP English. Exhibit A of my instability: the blog polls. I enjoy making the polls and hope others enjoying voting on them. However, this is not always the case. The number of votes on my various polls makes it painfully obvious how few people view my blog. The fact alone that I have given it this much thought may serve as a red flag, but that is not the only problem. I do not want people to see my pathetically unnoticed polls. So I vote on my polls. Multiple times. I voted on this most recent poll on my home computer, my iTouch, and at least one computer at school. And the fact that I willingly admit my obsessive behavior to the world only solidifies my insanity. But one isolated incident alone cannot land a person in a mental institution. No, my true deterioration into insanity began with the Amsterdam papers. For starters, I somehow convinced myself that a "focused paper" meant to use as few quotes as possible. I cannot tell you where this notion came from, all signs point to delusion. Upon finding out that this was not the case, I quickly went into panic mode. I even informed Ms. Serensky that I would have eight separate mental breakdowns that night. Clearly my filter was malfunctioning. The insanity only continued that night and afternoon as I wrote the paper (a painful experience that I do not wish to recount). And yet all this did not convince me of my insanity. Class today put the final nail in my crazy coffin. From the sombreros to the Spongebob piñata with a baby face, I could simply not comprehend the situation. So now, I fully know that I am crazy. I am not saying that AP English made me crazy, but there does seem to be a theme here.

Cuckoo

Assertive

         Recently, a fellow AP Englisher (who shall remain nameless) asked me how I talk in discussions. As in, how do I make it known that I want to talk next without cutting someone off. Now, most of you probably know that I like to talk and have no problem voicing my opinion. I usually try to talk when there is a lull in discussion because I hate awkward silences, and I am really sorry if I have ever cut anyone off. But anyway, I cannot honestly say that I have a specific method for leading into my talking. However, for those of you who have trouble asserting themselves in class discussion, I have a few easy tips that I think may come in handy. And as an added bonus I get to compose a blog list.

1. Bring a gavel to class. Any time you wish to speak, bang the gavel on your desk and say "order in the classroom." When everyone stops to stare at you in shock, you can quickly jump in with your point.

2. Start slow clapping. After the previous person finishes speaking, loudly and slowly start clapping so as to prevent others from talking before you.

3. Pretend to choke. This one requires some acting skills because you need to seem convincing. When the rest of the class is watching you in concern, you can make a quick recovery and start talking.

4. Fall out of your desk. Do not do this quietly, but make a big scene out of it. This will divert attention to you and give you the opportunity to make a statement

5. Form an alliance. Join forces with as many people in the classes you can and develop a secret signal. When you wish to speak, perform the secret signal in order to make the other students in your alliance start humming. This will create general confusion and allow you to speak.

6. Hide in the ceiling before class. Kick your way out and cause panic with your entrance. Everyone else will be stunned into silence.

7. Bribery. I do not want to get too specific on this one. I'm just throwing it out there; when in doubt, bribe.

 

Six word paper? I wish

Pick your poison, both mean stress.

Genius? Not So Much

       The thought was, quite simply, that it might not be going to far to say that Clive was... an idiot. An idiot. It was a term he had applied to many others in his lifetime, most recently his former best friend. A word he had never dared associate with himself. But now, looking back on all he had accomplished in such a short time, idiot really seemed like the appropriate word. Not so long ago Clive had lived a simple and happy life; working on his latest masterpiece whilst enjoying the spoils of the cultured class. But it had not been enough. He wanted a higher status, a greater legacy. He wanted everyone to remember his name. And maybe they would now, just not for the right reasons. He thought of his house which might appear in a documentary film someday. An expose about how the desire for fame leads to ruin. Or perhaps how a relatively stable man managed to go down in flames in a matter of days: "The Clive Linley Story: From Composer to Clown."  Looking back, his errors seemed rather obvious. If only the average person was blessed with foresight, rather than hindsight. He had known that the tune at the end of his symphony sounded familiar. The echo of something greater. Something, he assumed, that he would create. That he would will into being. Too bad someone had beaten him to the punch a few centuries ago. At the very least, he would not have to bear witness the public reaction when they heard Clive Linley's pathetic Millennial Symphony. But why, oh why, had he not found his final interaction with Vernon suspicious? He thought it only natural that Vernon, the flea of society, would want to reconcile with the man on the cusp of icon status. He had been so very eager to enact his own plan of vengeance that he had ignored the very obvious signs of Vernon's identical plan. And now he was dead. Dead. With no one to care that he was. No friend to retrieve his remains. No one to write his biography. Yes, idiot sounded just about right.    

 Beethoven who?

Dear Anyone...

        Text messages are great: convenient, simple, and to the point. Can you believe that people used to talk to each other? Or worse yet, write letters to each other. Yeah, I know, gross. So when I found an old shoebox containing letters my grandfather had received in the 1950s and 60s, I was naturally curious. How did these poor people communicate back in the Stone Age before texts? You can imagine my surprise when I found that the letters were funny, interesting, and touching, even decades later. For instance, Mike, one of my grandpa's college friends, worked in the Marine Corps. In a letter dated June 2, 1957, Mike wrote, "Professor Ed Paul once stated that our class had only two interests- sex and athletics. At the time I wittingly suggested that we really didn't care for athletics." Despite the fact that this letter is more than 50 years old, I still laughed out loud when I read it. And even though Mike was clearly trying to be funny throughout his letter, he still managed to sound deep and profound without really trying. He described his training for the position of first Lieutenant and said, "I do have 44 men to lead. Or should I say experiment with. They play victim while I learn to be a leader of men." The phrase "leader of men" really struck me for some reason. Beneath Mike's joking exterior, I could sense he felt a lot of responsibility in caring for his men. Another one of my grandpa's friends worked at a Goodyear plant in Java, Indonesia. At the time, the Indonesians wanted to annex West New Guinea which the Dutch has possession of, thus leading to fighting and riots. Fred wrote of the events,”So we now have a country that is potentially the third richest country on Earth facing hunger and political chaos. Also I'm a little angry that the U.S. abstained from voting in the U.N." I had never even heard of this event before. The last place I expected to learn about an important international incident was in a letter to my grandpa. The first hand account is so much more affecting than the impersonal news stories that dominate the news today. Reading all of these letters made me sad that letter-writing seems to be a dying art. I am sure the rate of correspondence was a lot slower than in today's age; however, a letter conveys so much more depth and personality than simply shooting someone a text. A person has to actually sit down and plan out what to say and how to say it.

Song Banter

    For those of you who froze in terror when Ms. Serensky announced her new song policy for the Blog Banter Show (and I know there are a lot of you), I have the solution. Like anything in English class, avoiding embarrassment only requires a little preparation. I have adapted a few lines of five popular songs into a blog-appropriate format. Feel free to use any of my suggestions. And if you have any additional ideas please share for the good of the AP English community.

 

1. "Boys Boys Boys" by Lady Gaga

"Boys boys boys

We like boys in ca-ars

Boys boys boys

Buy us drinks in ba-ars"                                          

     
Blog Version:
"Blogs  blogs blog
Listen to Blog Banter
Blogs blogs blogs
Wednesdays and Frida-ays"

2. "Yellow Submarine" by The Beatles

"We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine"

Blog Version:     

"We all live for Bobbie's Blog Banter

Bobbie's Blog Banter, Bobbie's Blog Banter

We all live for Bobbie's Blog Banter

Bobbie's Blog Banter, Bobbie's Blog Banter"

Or if you prefer:

"I can't believe you are making me sing

Making me sing, making me sing
I can't believe you are making me sing
Making me sing, making me sing"

3. "Beverly Hills" by Weezer
"Beverly Hills - That's where I want to be! (Gimme Gimme)
Living in Beverly Hills...
Beverly Hills - Rolling like a celebrity! (Gimme Gimme)
Living in Beverly Hills..."

Blog Version:
"Bobbie's Banter-I want her to mention me! (Banter Banter)
Blogging for AP English...

Bobbie's Banter-Hope she thought that mine was funny! (Banter Banter)

Blogging in Chagrin Falls schools"

4. "Don"t Stop the Music" by Rihanna

"I just can't refuse it
Like the way you do this
Keep on rockin' to it
Please don't stop the
Please don't stop the
Please don't stop the music" 

Blog Version: 

"I just can't stop typing

Gettin' carpal tunnel

Must get on the banter

Please don't stop the
Please don't stop the
Please don't stop the blogging" 

5. "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space [...]

Does that make me crazy

Does that make me crazy

Does that make me crazy

Probably"

 Blog Version:

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I wrote my first blog

There was something so special about that day.

Even dared to use passive voice once

With so much freedom

I just like to write blogs

I just like to write blogs

I just like to write blogs

So crazy"

 

 

The Blogging Chronicles

        As the blog project nears an end, I cannot help but feel a little nostalgic. I expected this “fun” assignment to act as another form of AP English takeover in our lives. However, this experience really has been fun. I found it extremely interesting to see how everyone slowly grew into their blogs. We all started off rather self-conscious, but then people found some angle that worked for them and started to write truly intelligent and witty pieces. But on a more personal level, the blogging felt like a sort of cathartic experience for me. It gave me a place to rant about a topic that I felt passionately about (see the Demitri blog). If I did not understand some concept, I could work through it with my writing. Not all of my blogs were exactly stellar. Some of my posts, especially the earlier ones, felt forced and did not sound like me. However, as time went on, I grew more comfortable and familiar with the format and my blog took on a somewhat quirky tone that I think suits me. Furthermore, I tend to “over think” everything, so this project gave me a chance to get my ideas down simply without over analyzing every word. Most significantly, I think the project has taught us how to apply what we have learned in a more real world sense. Like it or not, the world is becoming more and more virtual. We read newspapers online and carry around electronic books. The future of writing is blogging. Bloggers are quickly turning into our generation’s satirists, comedians, playwrights, and bestselling authors (Julie and Julia started as a blog). We have slaved over the application of literary devices for a year and half, but the average American does not want to read the quote-analysis-quote-analysis format. Therefore, our blogs take what we have learned about analysis and combine it with a creative twist. Maybe none of us will ever go on to sell our blogs for millions or dollars, but you never know.  

Can't Escape

Spoiler Alert: Do not read this blog if you have never the movie Psycho and wish for the plot to remain a surprise.
             Insanity follows me everywhere I go. Over the past few weeks my life has been filled with discussion of insanity through One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Shutter Island. Simultaneously, I myself get closer to insanity with the data sheet and the approach of semester exams. Perhaps I have some subconscious desire to keep the insanity theme going in my life, because I decided to watch the movie Psycho on Friday night for the first time ever. Despite knowing the ending, the movie still held some terrifying twists and Anthony Perkins delivered the performance of a lifetime with his creepy, unstable, and truly sick character. Although the plots of Shutter Island and Psycho have virtually nothing in common, the main characters could not be more similar. Teddy, or Andrew, found his three children dead and then killed his wife. He could not live with the guilt and sadness of the situation so he invented an entirely new scenario with himself as the hero. Norman Bates, a young man who runs a small and lonely motel with his "mother," faced similar circumstances. He lived alone with his demanding mother for the majority of his young life. However, when his mother took a lover, he could not deal with the jealously so he killed them both. Unable to bear the truth, he recreated his life with his mother. He used her actual skeleton and dressed it up in her clothes. He would imitate her voice and have conversations with himself. And whenever Norman felt attraction to another woman, his "mother" would take control. He would dress up as his mother, grab a giant knife and slaughter the innocent female. Both characters had very serious mental problems. Both of them did something terrible that they could not live with, so they both made alternative realities to live in. The major difference involved how the characters ended up. Andrew seemed to come out of his delusions more or less. Although one could interpret the end in multiple ways, I think he seems to realize that he is a menace to society and willingly walks off to his death, or at least the death of his conscious self. Norman, on the other hand, allows the insanity to completely engulf him. The mother persona overtakes him so much that Norman "no longer exists," as the psychiatrist explains. The final image of Norman with an unbelievably creepy smile suggests that he will never again come close to sanity. Both the movies left me with unsettling feelings, but for entirely different reasons. I could not believe that I had grown to trust and believe a character that seemed so completely unstable. It really warped my perceptions and left me confused. In Psycho, the fear comes from the fact that no one can ever get through to Norman. His insanity runs far too deep to ever be saved. I feared him and found him extremely creepy, but I could not bring myself to hate him. He did horrible things, but he truly did not seem to understand because he had genuine mental problems. This movie truly made me realize that there is no easy solution when it comes to dangerous mentally ill people. How can you punish someone who does not understand why they are being punished? The only option to keep others and themselves safe seems isolation from society, but we have already seen that that leads to inhuman treatment. So what can we do?
  Norman in his final scene
  Norman's mother